By: John
I have no idea how it happened. How is it that a happily monogamous couple could end up in a strange love triangle? Navigating the world of gay love, gay sex is already difficult as it is, even in this modern world, much less polyamorous gay love. This kind of affair is not for the faint of heart but it is not a love that is difficult to understand. Here you are reading and thinking to yourself that Jada Pinkett Smith had an entanglement, wait until you hear about my polyamorous affair.
I guess you could say, I got distracted from the goal of keeping steadfast and faithful in my seven-plus committed years with Steven. Something that someone at the age of 37 would not expect at this age. At this age, you think you are on top of your game, even amidst a pandemic. You are thriving at relationship goals, personal goals and business achievements. Everything seems pretty much under control. But no one, absolutely no one prepares you for an Alejandro to step upon your life’s stage.
A tall, slender, slightly toned, brown-eyed 22-year kid, and yes a kid when you think about it, just 15 years my junior. All he had to do was say, “Hi,” back at me. I was casually browsing through my contacts on social media. Granted, I am a flirt, so of course, it wasn’t a simple hello from me. I saw this guy’s profile picture on full display with every curve to his toned body just sitting there. His profile picture sat there, waiting for a compliment. What took over me next, was simply that part of me, I had been afraid to admit to for a long time. Am I like my father? The gay version of
the womanizer that he still is today? “You’re too exposed, go cover-up,” I said to him. We exchanged a couple of laughs and the conversation quickly turned from a slight hint to a full-on, “BTW you’re fine asf!” I was already in deep and way over my head and thought, this was just a small little online flirt and nothing would come of it. I was dead wrong, this guy was just as brave as the fire sign in me. He did not hesitate to offer to hang out and see what would happen, “simply going with the flow,” he likes to say. I nervously accepted what happened next, even as I sit here and write this blog, I am still trying to process.
We had a date set out, at this point, this online flirting turned into an episode straight from the Queer as Folk or The L Word, this was becoming an affair. I had no idea why I was doing this, just that this strong physical attraction was there. I know, don’t judge, I have been with my partner for almost 8 years, I was weak. I guess it’s like what a friend told me once, “John, it seems that every 10 years your mentality changes what it wants or needs.” Of course, this was not the appropriate time to listen to this advice, but there I was listening to the comment play in the back of my mind, and I know most of us think of it, “when will I get another chance to relive my youth?” I was simply, as the youngsters would say, “going with the flow!” We met up on a day I had planned out, where I knew I was going to be alone and unbothered. It does not take a rocket scientist to figure out what happened next. This guy, as straight as they come, did I mention he was straight? Held me in ways, all too familiar. Familiar because, for a ‘straight,’ guy he knew exactly what to do. Of course, I knew what I was doing was totally unfaithful, a cheater, a sinner. But I already fell down the rabbit hole. The moment I stared at that profile picture and initiated a conversation, I fell into that hole.