By Sydney
The purpose of our lives is to be happy.” — Dalai Lama.
It is very scary to think that the person you want to tell everything to will be here forever to see, to touch, to feel. Thinking that one day you both will be able to sit under a coconut tree with the wind blowing on a perfect day to talk about life and goals, aspirations the past and the present, but that time never comes for life just happens. Your mind will be pondering why you didn’t take 5 minutes just to do so, for now it is just a reflection of your imagination at the back of your mind that someday when the time is right you will be able to do so and said conversation will be better than you have thought.
It is very scary to think that the person you want to tell everything to will be here forever to see, to touch, to feel. Thinking that one day you both will be able to sit under a coconut tree with the wind blowing on a perfect day to talk about life and goals, aspirations the past and the present, but that time never comes for life just happens. Your mind will be pondering why you didn’t take 5 minutes just to do so, for now it is just a reflection of your imagination at the back of your mind that someday when the time is right you will be able to do so and said conversation will be better than you have thought.
As a child I would often wonder where I fit in my family because I was different and I knew. I tried playing with Barbies with the girls in my neighbourhood but I knew deep down that was not me. Then I tried playing with the boys hoping I would fit in and it felt much better. I thought I had found my crowd. Still, I felt ostracized because there was no one like me around and there was no one to talk to who could relate to what I was going through. My journey to self-acceptance was a long one filled with heartaches, mistakes and life lessons that I am truly thankful for. I learnt that it is okay to be gay, to love another person that has the same features as you. I learnt that the first step to “fitting in” was being myself and not changing for everyone. I realized you should have been here to travel on this journey with me.
Sometimes I often think If we did have that conversation would I have been a different person today? Would I have thought about love as something much better than being hurt by individuals that never really knew you? Would I have learnt to search for guidance from the higher power any time I break down? Would I have learnt that it is okay to take some losses in life just to come back stronger? I wish you were here to see my growth and how I am not that timid little girl anymore but one with a voice that will make a difference in this world. I wish you were here so I can tell my stories instead of bottling them up in a rusty jar with a cover that is unable to be unscrewed. But I am grateful for the time we spent together and one day when the time is right those stories will be revealed.
Sometimes I often think If we did have that conversation would I have been a different person today? Would I have thought about love as something much better than being hurt by individuals that never really knew you? Would I have learnt to search for guidance from the higher power any time I break down? Would I have learnt that it is okay to take some losses in life just to come back stronger? I wish you were here to see my growth and how I am not that timid little girl anymore but one with a voice that will make a difference in this world. I wish you were here so I can tell my stories instead of bottling them up in a rusty jar with a cover that is unable to be unscrewed. But I am grateful for the time we spent together and one day when the time is right those stories will be revealed.